It has been a long three years.
A few months ago, I was granted the right to stay in Canada as a permanent resident. It took forever! But, let's start at the beginning.
In 2008, I met The Canadian. We embarked on a long distance relationship, which ended in me inviting myself to move in with him. He agreed, but in hindsight, he wasn't really sure what was happening and took a 'if it happens, it happens' approach.
I applied for my a BUNAC work permit, which allowed 1 year of work in Canada, the only restriction being that I was unable to work with children or in hospitals. This didn't bother me overly. The visa was for a year, and we thought that would be enough time to decide where the relationship was heading.
and...it was hard.
Long distance relationships can provide you with great insight into your partner e.g. how the communicate, what they're hopes and dreams are etc. etc. It does not, however, tell you the realities of how much alone time they may need, whether they are good cooks, if they are messy (me), if they like pristine homes (him) etc. Within a few months though, we had found our footing. We were having fun. We were enjoying blow up mattresses in front of the TV for winter trilogy and tv show marathons.
In 2011, we decided that we wanted to take a step forward and get married. Our relationship had never been in line with the way most people do things (even now, we have experienced more in 3 years of marriage than some people do in 10, but that is a story for another day), so there was judgement and disapproval from some people, but we pushed through. We had discussions on England vs Canada, where should we live? Where should we go? In the end, Canada was decided upon and the application process began. Cue the STI tests, proof of relationship, copies of birthday cards, letters, messages, photographs, affidavits of our relationship.
I was lucky. My visa, although not 'extendable', was grandfathered in to allow me to work after it had expired. The downside? I had no physical document that was 'in date' and, therefore, continued to pay taxes but suddenly became ineligible for health care coverage and any other services afforded to individuals who are not 'implied permanent residents'. That made for a very scary winter, alone, without health coverage, worried about The Canadian who had to work away from home for 5 months. During that time, I learnt a lot. I also experienced a lot of negative events, but, somehow, I made it through.
The Canadian returned home and we learnt that we were to be moving to Ontario. My updated and 'in date' work permit arrived just before we left Alberta. Once we arrived in Ontario, I learnt that my application had been lost, misplaced, found, paper-copy-only availability, and electronic-copy-only availability depending on who I spoke with. After trying to gain help from representatives in our area and being spoken to as though I was trying to sponge off the system, we just gave up and waited. There was nothing more I could do and, at least, I had a valid work permit, so I was still able to work.
I left Canada to see my dad, who was unwell at the time, to then learn that I had been accepted and the date of collection was the day I was due to return to Canada. We called and cancelled the appointment and waited longer for another appointment to become available. We visited the centre twice because the first time they'd lost the record of our payments.
Eventually, last month, exactly 2 years since we sent in my application, I received permanent residency. Being told that you have the right to reside in the country that you have spent 3 years making your home is a relief. What a weight off my shoulders.
3 years after landing in this country on a warm September afternoon, I can look back and see the stress that was the immigration system combined with the emotional roller-coaster of adjusting to a new country while your partner disappears with the military. It was tough. But I learnt so much.
In 3 years I have grown so much as a person (both figuratively and [alas!] literally!). I have far more patience, tolerance and calmness. I've cried - a lot -. I've felt alone. I've felt isolated. But I've also felt incredibly loved, wanted, supported and warmed by not only my family and friends from the UK but through the love of new family and friends. I look back over the last few years and I genuinely feel sad for the stress and anguish I have navigated through, but I can see all the linings that those dark moments had to offer, all the strength I've developed and all the growing I've done.
As I enter my fourth year, I feel nothing but hope. It's so exciting that the immigration challenges (let's not discuss citizenship) are behind me, as are prospects of deployment (touch wood) and other predictable stresses. I am so excited about building new traditions during my fourth year here and exploring all that Canada has to offer. I think of the reason I decided to take my leap of faith and come to Canada and I think of all the other leaps I can take in the future. I am filled with optimism.
[For anyone currently navigating the immigration system, know that it is so stressful but that it comes to an end - eventually. Also, do not lose your log in details for the immigration website, there are no alternatives and it will slow the process down! Write them down 2 5 10 times]
