March 20th is known as the International Day of Happiness but, contrary to what I initially thought, it isn't about just 'being happy for a day', today is a day to become aware of how to chase the elusive happy and become comfortable with you.
Sadly, there are no happy switches that just make life perfect. Instead, a series of little efforts can make life more fulfilled and enjoyable. Here's a list of 10 examples inspired by Action for Happiness:
1. Avoid the Comparison Trap
Comparison can make us sad and have all sorts of negative impact on our wellbeing. They're born from bias, unfair assumptions and are, quite often, untrue and minimise your history, experiences and existing skills. Often comparisons happen because we see someone else's successes, outside story, perceived confidences and ease within a certain environment, it is unfair to compare their outside with your inside. Apples and oranges, my friend.
There are many ways to avoid the comparison trap, including:
- Being aware that you're making those comparisons [becoming minimalist]
- Count your own blessings and successes. [zen habits : breathe]
- Compare yourself to yourself. Ask yourself what you can do today that you couldn't do 2, 5, and 10 years ago. [tiny buddha]
- Be kinder to others. Volunteer, share your skills or just brighten someone else's day. Get out of your own head! [the positivity blog]
- Paying attention to your own successes [becoming minimalist] [Action for Happiness]
- Learn to be ok with imperfections. [zen habits : breathe]
2. Trying New Things
I recommend Duolingo (it's free), This American Life podcasts, Stuff You Should Know (these guys are kinda cool), knitting (tutorials here, here and here), start a blog, try your hand at writing for the sake of writing, or get into model rail road building.
3. Volunteer
Getting involved in your community and contributing to others wellbeing can make you feel brilliant. That and, many volunteer opportunities can lead to great work opportunities later.
Every country has great websites that can open doors to great volunteer opportunities, all it takes is a quick Google search. I saved some time for those in Canada and found these:
- Get Involved: A great system that allows you to search by field and skill requirement. It also allows you to contact the company posting through their website, making it super streamlined and not-so-stressful if you're not into calling people.
- Volunteer Centres: This is a good way to find the volunteer centres in your area. To be honest, I thought the closest one would be in Ottawa (for me), but turns out they're in smaller towns too.
- Volunteer Quiz: Take this quiz to find out more about the type of volunteer you are and the things you should look for in volunteering positions.
This website has a great list of questions to ask yourself when looking for a volunteer opportunity.
4. Learn to Meditate
Meditation helps relieve stress, clear your mind and refocus your energy.
There are three types of meditation *:
- Mindfulness Meditation : acknowledging sights, thoughts and sounds
- Concentrative Meditation : focusing on one thing, usually breathing
- Contemplative Mediation : getting deeper and opening yourself up
5. Focus on your relationships
According to the Action for Happiness Website, reconnecting with your partner can be a great way to improve your wellbeing.
I really recommend reading through their list on how to improve and bask in the glow of the relationship you and your partner have. It discusses being known, active listening and the way we relate to the person we spend most of our free time with.
Of course, relationships with friends and other family members are just as important. I've gathered up some of the best articles I've found on growing relationships with others:
- The importance of communication with those around you : Listening is not the same as hearing.
6. Practice Gratitude
Practicing gratitude is really good for you. It gets me through the winter months and it's incredibly beneficial for you. I love this one so much that I wrote a whole series on it.
If you're still stuck on where to start, there's a downloadable happiness package that you can get from here.
Honestly, the best way to start with gratitude is just to do it. Start saying thank you and being mindful of why you're saying thank you. Make notes of all the wonderful things you do during the day and reflect on the good.
7. Goals and Projects - DO IT!
Having projects and goals is a really big deal. For me, I thrive from creative goals and stimulating projects. I've done the month of selfies, I did 100 days of happiness and there have been others that haven't really worked out.
Regardless of whether they work out or not, you learn. Having a project gives you new skills and goals give the opportunity to develop a direction.
I'd recommend listening to this fantastic speech on growth and goals.
8. Go Outside
Seeing as I work online so often, this is a big one for me. I have to remind myself to leave. the. house. Thankfully the weather is getting better. Also, going outside can be great if your new hobby (see number 2) involves taking pictures.
9. Do something creative
It doesn't matter what it is. Scribble, try hand lettering. Make meringue, play with air dry clay. Do something. I have found that being creative is one of the best outlets and the most rewarding in happiness results (even if the creative project is hideous!). And there's science to that! Getting creative can help in a whole heap of ways from identity growth to developing competencies, and increasing interest in the world around you to an increased level of perseverance.
10. Unplug
The internet is everywhere! I am so bad for checking Facebook on my phone, e-mails on the iPad, watching tv on the laptop while checking Pinterest. Social media has many well-documented disadvantages and perhaps been accessible all the time means that we never relax.
I really struggle with disconnecting and completely unplugging but I really find that when I do it properly I connect with others and use technology better and more efficiently when I come back to it.
Giving your devices a purpose helps improve efficiency and set appropriate settings. For instance, my iPad is hard to type on, I use it for reading, visual apps like Pinterest and music. So, I have notifications for twitter, e-mail and Facebook turned off. In fact, I turn off the notifications for nearly all of the apps on nearly all of my devices. That way, I only check them when I want to check them.
There's even more reason to unplug: it feels good.
Recently, I realized I hadn't read a paper book in a long time, that I hadn't spent a dinner without my phone to hand and that my phone battery was lasting less than 12 hours. So, I stopped using my phone. I let it die and left it that way for a few days. I read Game of Thrones. I spent time talking over dinner.
It's been good for me, and not just in ways I notice. Unplugging from technology has other fantastic benefits, which are all discussed by becoming minimalist.
So...
nobody is perfect. In fact, we should probably move away from that notion entirely since it's known to cause a lot of stress! There are many things that I could be doing to enjoy the beauty available to me in my life and I'm glad that I did this research because it's inspired me to try harder and do more to take control of how I feel. But ultimately, being happy and having happy moments, even if we can't consistently be happy (because I really think that would be tiring), is a great goal to have. Although it is the international day of happiness, it seems like all of the information surrounding research on happiness is really about feeling fulfilled and contented, and I'm ok with that!
There's definitely a few things I've come across that I want to try more of. If anyone has tried any of these, you must let me know. I'd love to know the results.
